I have to let you go, and not just in a saying way. But in that deep space within, way down low, in the place where the ego can’t go to distort or disrupt things. The place inside myself where all the love I’ve had cannot be corrupted and from what I can tell lives on eternally regardless of changes in the outer world.
This is my work right now. I bring myself back to this conclusion as many times as it takes, and it hasn’t taken yet. This is because I didn’t get to say goodbye.
Since there is no removing the love, and to remember that love is not pain. Then the pain I am feeling must be something else, something other than the love itself. So what is it? The ongoing remembrances, the flashes of pain through my chest that are entirely more physical than one would imagine. The thoughts that lead me beyond that impermeable wall that now lives between us. Erected over night with no prior notice.
Sometimes I look at the wall and think of ways to get beyond it. But I cannot corrupt the very thing I prayed for you to have. All of the things which I cannot give you, that she can.
So upon that wall, which I cannot pass, and should not pass, I will simply write,
“Love lives here”. In Graffiti of course. And that’s my love for you and your love for her and while we are here on this earthly plane those two things look different. But in the deep down place, as well as that place Most High, they are the same.
A Poem by Lisa Fern Sikes