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Akiane Kremarik, CFS, Child Prodigy, Chronic illness, emotional freedom, emotional freedom and healing, healing, Inner Peace, Jesus, Kingdom of Heaven, love, Lyme disease, ME, Myalgic Encephalomyalitis, spiritual healing, Visions of Heaven
To find out more about this remarkable artist: https://www.akiane.com/store/
cannabis oil, CFS, Chronic illness, healing lyme, healing tinnitus, Homeopathy, love, lyme and tinnitus, Lyme disease, lyme symptoms, ME, Myalgic Encephalomyalitis, Rick Simpson, ringing in ears, solution for ear noise, tinnitus, Tinnitus Remedy
What is Tinnitus?
Simple cure for tinnitus article:
Rick Simpson: Run From the Cure – His journey began because of intolerable tinnitus.
I haven’t tried this yet, but I think I will as my tinnitus does come back strong once in a while, plus my new found love of homeopathy has given me an optimism about how effective it can be. Here is a link to homeopathic remedies that may help tinnitus:
A new technique on Reddit for tinnitus! Worth a try.
A new “thing” I just heard about: Not tested by me
Only God’s plan for salvation will work.
You may not realize that the ego has set up a plan for salvation in opposition to God’s. It is this plan in which you believe. Since it is the opposite of God’s, you also believe that to accept God’s plan in place of the ego’s is to be damned. This sounds preposterous, of course. Yet after we have considered just what the ego’s plan is, perhaps you will realize that, however preposterous it may be, you do believe in it.
The ego’s plan for salvation centers around holding grievances. It maintains that, if someone else spoke or acted differently, if some external circumstance or event were changed, you would be saved. Thus, the source of salvation is constantly perceived as outside yourself. Each grievance you hold is a declaration, and an assertion in which you believe, that says, “If this were different, I would be saved.” The change of mind necessary for salvation is thus demanded of everyone and everything except yourself.
The role assigned to your own mind in this plan, then, is simply to determine what, other than itself, must change if you are to be saved. According to this insane plan, any perceived source of salvation is acceptable provided that it will not work. This ensures that the fruitless search will continue, for the illusion persists that, although this hope has always failed, there is still grounds for hope in other places and in other things. Another person will yet serve better; another situation will yet offer success.
Such is the ego’s plan for your salvation. Surely you can see how it is in strict accord with the ego’s basic doctrine, “Seek but do not find.” For what could more surely guarantee that you will not find salvation than to channelize all your efforts in searching for it where it is not?
God’s plan for salvation works simply because, by following His direction, you seek for salvation where it is. But if you are to succeed, as God promises you will, you must be willing to seek there only. Otherwise, your purpose is divided and you will attempt to follow two plans for salvation that are diametrically opposed in all ways. The result can only bring confusion, misery and a deep sense of failure and despair.
How can you escape all this? Very simply. The idea for today is the answer. Only God’s plan for salvation will work. There can be no real conflict about this, because there is no possible alternative to God’s plan that will save you. His is the only plan that is certain in its outcome. His is the only plan that must succeed.
Let us practice recognizing this certainty today. And let us rejoice that there is an answer to what seems to be a conflict with no resolution possible. All things are possible to God. Salvation must be yours because of His plan, which cannot fail.
Begin the two longer practice periods for today by thinking about today’s idea, and realizing that it contains two parts, each making equal contribution to the whole. God’s plan for your salvation will work, and other plans will not. Do not allow yourself to become depressed or angry at the second part; it is inherent in the first. And in the first is your full release from all your own insane attempts and mad proposals to free yourself. They have led to depression and anger; but God’s plan will succeed. It will lead to release and joy.
Remembering this, let us devote the remainder of the extended practice periods to asking God to reveal His plan to us. Ask Him very specifically:
What would You have me do?
Where would You have me go?
What would You have me say, and to whom?
Give Him full charge of the rest of the practice period, and let Him tell you what needs to be done by you in His plan for your salvation. He will answer in proportion to your willingness to hear His Voice. Refuse not to hear. The very fact that you are doing the exercises proves that you have some willingness to listen. This is enough to establish your claim to God’s answer.
In the shorter practice periods, tell yourself often that God’s plan for salvation, and only His, will work. Be alert to all temptation to hold grievances today, and respond to them with this form of today’s idea:
Holding grievances is the opposite of God’s plan for salvation. And only His plan will work.
Try to remember today’s idea some six or seven times an hour. There could be no better way to spend a half minute or less than to remember the Source of your salvation, and to see It where It is.
A Course in Miracles, Manual for Teachers
20. WHAT IS THE PEACE OF GOD?
1 It has been said that there is a kind of peace that is not of this world. How is it recognized? How is it found? And being found, how can it be retained? Let us consider each of these questions separately, for each reflects a different step along the way.
2 First, how can the peace of God be recognized? God’s peace is recognized at first by just one thing; in every way it is totally unlike all previous experiences. It calls to mind nothing that went before. It brings with it no past associations. It is a new thing entirely. There is a contrast, yes, between this thing and all the past. But strangely, it is not a contrast of true differences. The past just slips away, and in its place is everlasting quiet. Only that. The contrast first perceived has merely gone. Quiet has reached to cover everything.
3 How is this quiet found? No one can fail to find it who but seeks out its conditions. God’s peace can never come where anger is, for anger must deny that peace exists. Who sees anger as justified in any way or any circumstance proclaims that peace is meaningless, and must believe that it cannot exist. In this condition, peace cannot be found. Therefore, forgiveness is the necessary condition for finding the peace of God. More than this, given forgiveness there must be peace. For what except attack will lead to war? And what but peace is opposite to war? Here the initial contrast stands out clear and apparent. Yet when peace is found, the war is meaningless. And it is conflict now that is perceived as nonexistent and unreal.
4 How is the peace of God retained, once it is found? Returning anger, in whatever form, will drop the heavy curtain once again, and the belief that peace cannot exist will certainly return. War is again accepted as the one reality. Now must you once again lay down your sword, although you do not recognize that you have picked it up again. But you will learn, as you remember even faintly now that happiness was yours without it, that you must have taken it again as your defense. Stop for a moment now and think of this: Is conflict what you want, or is God’s peace the better choice? Which gives you more? A tranquil mind is not a little gift. Would you not rather live than choose to die?
5 Living is joy, but death can only weep. You see in death escape from what you made. But this you do not see; that you made death, and it is but illusion of an end. Death cannot be escape, because it is not life in which the problem lies. Life has no opposite, for it is God. Life and death seem to be opposites because you have decided death ends life. Forgive the world, and you will understand that every thing that God created cannot have an end, and nothing He did not create is real. In this one sentence is our course explained. In this one sentence is our practicing given its one direction. And in this one sentence is the Holy Spirit’s whole curriculum specified exactly as it is.
6 What is the peace of God? No more than this; the simple understanding that His Will is wholly without opposite. There is no thought that contradicts His Will, yet can be true. The contrast between His Will and yours but seemed to be reality. In truth there was no conflict, for His Will is yours. Now is the mighty Will of God Himself His gift to you. He does not seek to keep it for Himself. Why would you seek to keep your tiny frail imaginings apart from Him? The Will of God is One and all there is. This is your heritage. The universe beyond the sun and stars, and all the thoughts of which you can conceive, belongs to you. God’s peace is the condition for His Will. Attain His peace, and you remember Him.
I had been trying to get to my parent’s house for the past two years. Trying to make it out there to see if it would be a tolerable environment for me to take safe haven in as my disease was clearly not letting up, in fact I endured many worsenings and new injuries from the medical system. I think I am in a space of acceptance. I have fought this illness with everything I had for 14 years now. I know down to my marrow that I did everything I could do to heal myself, and yet here I was, at 38 years young, declining and needing the assistance of a caregiver and many caring friends and family.
The stages of grief are never linear for anyone, regardless of what or who they are grieving. But typically the griever has the luxury of closure, conclusion, an end of some kind. This may take the form of their own death, or a death of a loved one, an end of a marriage or stage of life. With chronic illness you go through the stages of grief over and over again. Though, I had endured so many of the stages, depression, bargaining, and denial, I never ever came to a place of acceptance. For me, this was never an option. I just knew I would overcome what was eating away at my body. I never lost steam for that mission until about a year and a half ago. I finally, and for the first time, said to myself, “I might not actually get better, and maybe that is ok”.
Many people are not ok with me accepting that I am not well and may never be. If I had cancer or some other disease more easily processed by the intellects of my friends and family, this might be seen as a good thing, a place where my ailing body and soul could be at peace with what simly IS. I also find a lot of resistance from supposed positive and new age thinkers. “Well, if you don’t think you can get better, then you won’t”. I sort of chuckle when well meaning people say this to me, and yes there is an element of hurtfulness to these comments and concepts. Essentially they all indicate that I am choosing to be ill in some way or another, which essentially makes me a failure.
For many years I felt like I had failed because I had set out to cure myself, and I was not cured. I cleansed my body, my emotions, my very soul. I had literally travelled to the edges of the world to heal myself, yet the physical symptoms of this disease have not gone. Constantly fighting was not working, on any level for me any longer. I thought, what if I just let go of everything and just be with what is? This lifted a huge amount of internal stress that was living inside me. The giving over of my life to the Will of God, in every way, allowed me to finally let go of “I should be doing this” or “I could be doing that”. The fact was I spent most of my day in bed, I had very little energy to do anything with, and that this entire thing was not in my control. Therefore, how could I have failed myself? If you have tried, but not succeeded are you a failure?
One of the things that really got to me throughout this process has been the feeling of being a failure. I had made a singular mission, to which I dedicated every ounce of my being and focus for 12 years, as well as every extra cent of money. If I stopped everything and just looked honestly at where I stood, I clearly saw that I had failed my mission. That was just the truth of it. Our cultural focus on accomplishment was seared into my deep subconscious, and finally I saw how this brought me so much suffering. I never got to really go through the stages of applying my knowledge to a career. I was able to finish my degree in Social Work, but the stress of having pushed through to get that degree broke my body down, and as I entered my Master’s degree program, I nearly passed out in the first of my classes. I had to take a medical leave. That was in 2009.
So here I am in 2016, not really having moved much or accomplished anything by our world’s standards. Nor had I accomplished the feat of healing my body back to functionality so I could meet my survival needs, be a contributing member of society, and fulfill my lifelong dream of being of service to my fellow humans in the ways I had imagined. I instead became the burden that so many gripe about. I became the recipient of the welfare programs, I became the one who needed food stamps. I became a person in constant need. I became the person I was going to help. I was supposed to be the helper! This was not the natural order of things. Something had gone terribly wrong. Or had it?
When I began to dip my toe in the pool of acceptance, which has been an ongoing process for me, I was able to let some of the ideas about what my life should be go. I have always wondered what the difference between surrendering and giving up are when applied to illness. It seems like “Surrender” is a good word, we like that term, when you surrender something good is happening and you are in a space of allowing what is to emerge. But “giving up”, those are bad words, that is something we don’t do as Americans, and we certainly don’t do that as Spiritually awake and conscious beings. In my acceptance, I was able to surrender many thoughts and beliefs about myself. I was able to not be triggered by the judgments of others, if not just for moments at a time. The relief I felt permeated areas of my being I didn’t know were being hijacked by “my fight against Lyme.”
I suppose the difference is when you surrender, you still work to treat your body and symptoms for relief and comfort, but you are unattached to the outcome of those works. I have surrendered to what is. I have not given up, but I am beginning to surrender and accept what has happened to me and where I am at in life. This has brought in a fresh energy for me. It has made room for all kinds of new perspectives to come in that are life affirming, and self-affirming in the face of still being ill. Maybe I can still be valuable. Maybe I am contributing in ways that aren’t recognized with paychecks or accolades. In fact, perhaps there are some blessings here that have graced my life that would never have been had I not become so sick.
I realized that I have been able to be what I sometimes refer to in levity as a “free radical”, just getting to kind of float about in time and space and land wherever God willed me to be. I am available for the 2 hour phone calls with fellow Lymies, to be the shoulder to cry on. To be the one who understands. Yes, I get to do that, what a great honor! I have had the space to go deep into Spiritual study and practice, to meditate, to pray. I get to express my devotion to the Beloved at a pace that is natural, and allows me to gain a momentum in the direction of Spirit that takes time, often in a way I find comparable to the life of a monk or nun. Time that people working 9-5 simply don’t have. I have had the space and opportunity to explore dimensions of my deep Self, to see my ego, to work on my character. Illness has been a container for my personal and spiritual growth. They say that you can only meet people who are suffering to the depths that you yourself have suffered. Because of the depths I have gone to, I am able to truly be a place where other’s suffering can be heard and understood, or at least I hope to be.
When I finally got here to my parent’s house in August, I went from no outdoor space at all, to a practical sanctuary of nature my dad had created out of his backyard. As far as backyards go, being from Las Vegas you are used to a 5 x 10 concrete square for your “outdoor space”, not to mention it is 110 degrees out there with very little as far as trees and creatures, so being outside is not really that enjoyable there unless you can get out to somewhere like Red Rock (and don’t get me wrong, I love Vegas, it has all it’s own uniqueness). But here, in Southern California, the beautiful weather and the relatively large backyard space is just such a gift. It has been wonderful to spend hours of my day outside and enjoying the beauty and gifts of nature.
The one special spot in the backyard is my mother’s area where she goes to enjoy a smoke. It is a two-seater swing under this beautiful Weeping Willow Tree. It is technically a Pepper Tree, but for visual effect I will call it a weeping willow because it’s branches and leaves hang just like a willow. My mom has a special connection with Trees. She can feel their energy, and I believe she passed this gift onto me, it is a special thing we share together. It is just one aspect of our Empathic nature (another blog for this).
My first week here I would go to sit under it and would feel a drop of water fall on my arm or hand, and I would see little droplets of liquid coming from the leaves of the tree. I got up to look at the sky to see if there were any signs that it was raining, but sure enough the sky was clear as could be. I forgot about it, then a few days later, sitting under the Tree I felt more drops on my arm. My mom came out to sit with me and I asked her if she ever noticed that the Tree expressed little droplets of water?
She said “yes, this Tree cries.” I was taken aback. I said, “what do you mean it cries, why does it cry?” She replied, “well, this Tree is very old and knows what the Humans are doing to the Earth and to one another, and because of that it cries”. She believes that it protects her from some of the harshness of the world, just sitting under it’s wise old branches. That it carries some of the sadness of the world. This brought me to tears. I instantly felt a great love and connection with this Tree, The Crying Tree. That moment, my mother and I went to get some water as an offering to this beautiful being who creates a space of beauty and protection under which our sensitive souls can sit and just be. A soft place in a harsh world. I guess in many ways we are all grieving for something, even the trees. It is a time in our world where there is much to grieve for.
I often remember an article I read by Ram Dass that was about Trees. He said we look at trees and they are crooked and go in this and that direction, but we never question why it is the way it is. So why do we do that with people? Why can’t we look at people the same way we look at Trees, with an automatic acceptance?
Under the Crying Tree is a place where I can accept what is and be accepted. I sit under it everyday, and feel as though I am in a chrysalis of love. A place where my acceptance of myself, exactly the way I am, is being born. What, if not this, is healing?